Furuba Panic!
by Arutenshi
Summary: A oneshot about a game show hosted by Shigure. Very random and senseless, but eh XD


**Hi! I'm Arutenshi, or Aru-chan. This is a very strange Fruits Basket story, and it is also one of my first fanfics, so no super-harsh reviews. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Fruits Basket series!**

Shigure: Welcome to the all new game show, Furuba Panic! And here's your host, me! And over there operating the camera is Hatori!

Hatori: Why did he have to mention me...?

Shigure: Anyway, here are our contestants! First up, we have Kyou Sohma! Please excuse him if he does anything overly stupid...

Kyou: -twitch- I could say the same for you!

Shigure: Next, we have the wonderfully cute Tohru Honda!

Kyou: -double twitch- Okay, you know what? You! Me! Right here!

Shigure: Sigh...security!

Ayame runs in and hits Kyou in the head with a stick.

Kyou: OW! What the...!

Tohru: Oh my! Kyou are you okay? Kyou answer me! KYOU! OH MY GOD HE DIED!

Kyou: Um...no I didn't...

Shigure: Our third contestant is Yuki Sohma! ducks behind table

Yuki Fangirls: OMG YUKI!11!1!1!1!1!11111111! tackle Yuki WE LUV U!1!1

Shigure: ...is it safe? Okay! But does anyone else find it strange that Kyou hasn't been able to beat Yuki even though Kyou has more fighting experience?

Kyou: YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE!

Shigure: Now now, don't be silly! Our fourth and final contesant is Momiji Sohma!

Momiji: OMG HAHAHA CANDY N STUFF

Kyou: O...kay...

Shigure: Okay, let's get started. First question. What is the eighth planet from the sun?

Kyou: -pushes buzzer- Neptune!

Shigure: I'm sorry, that's incorrect.

Yuki: -pushes buzzer- Neptune.

Shigure: Yes, that's correct! Points for Yuki!

Kyou: WHAT IS YOUR FREAKIN' PROBLEM!

Shigure: Ahem On to question two...

Kyou: That's it...you...are...DEAD!

Shigure: Security!

Ayame hits Kyou on the head with a stick.

Kyou: DAMN YOU!

Shigure: Anyway, question two: who is the king of your life?

Kyou: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!

Tohru: -pushes buzzer- Um...my mom?

Shigure: No.

Yuki: -pushes buzzer- Me?

Shigure: Nope.

Momiji: -pushes buzzer- CAAAAANNNNNDYYYYY

Shigure: Incorrect.

Kyou: -pushes- buzzer Shut the f--- up?

Shigure: No, I'm afraid the answer was pie. You all suck.

Kyou: -explodes-

Tohru: OH MY GOD KYOU JUST EXPLODED! SOMEONE GET THE FIRST-AID KIT!

Yuki: Just forget it. Kyou is disqualified because he exploded.

Kyou Zombie: Oh no I'm not! I may have died and turned into a zombie instead of going to the afterlife because of my unstoppable determination to beat Yuki at this, but that doesn't disqualify me!

Shigure: Whatever Kyou, do what you want. Uh...question three! If it's raining on a Sunday afternoon in April and you're sitting in your kitchen eating a chocolate cake while football in on the TV in the living room and the volume is at level 6 and the remote is under the pillow on the couch 3 degrees away from the armrest of the couch, what is the exact cost of a loaf of bread from the grocery store 3 blocks down?

Tohru: -pushes buzzer- 5 cents?

Shigure: Wrong!

Momiji: -pushes buzzer- THREE GUMBALLS AND A BELUGA WHALE

Shigure: No...

Yuki: -pushes buzzer- No one cares?

Shigure: Incorrect.

Kyou Zombie: -pushes buzzer- You're an idiot?

Shigure: Wrong again! I'm afraid the answer was–

Hatori: Nothing, the Grocery store is closed on Sundays.

Shigure: ...

Everyone Else: ...

Shigure: ...The cameraman...DOES NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS! Ayame! Super attack maneuver 17!

Ayame: GYAAAAAH! glomps Yuki

Yuki: AAH! Dear Lord, HELP ME!

Shigure: No no no! Maneuver 17! Not 16!

Ayame: Oh, sorry. -attacks Hatori-

Hatori: Gah...! So...if you get rid of me, who will run the camera?

Shigure: Simple. That random guy in the audience.

Random Guy: R-really? Me? Oh, I never thought this day would come! It's my dream come true! I've always wanted to do this!

Shigure: Well, that's too bad, because we're out of time! And the winner is...me! See you next time! runs

Kyou Zombie: COME BACK HERE YOU! I'M GONNA EAT YOUR FLESH!

Tohru: The world is a big happy ball of cotton candy

Momiji: ZOMG NO WAI

Yuki: I'm surrounded by idiots...

Ayame: Let's spend quality time together, brother!

Yuki: Oh god, no...runs

Hatori: I'M the one who's surrounded by idiots...

**The End :D Thank you for reading!**


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